Top 10 Funny quotes | Best Funny quotes | Funny quotes

Top 10 Funny quotes | Best Funny quotes | Funny quotes

"I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar. "
--Anonymous

"A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done."
--Fred Allen

"I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer."
--Douglas Adams

"Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings."
--Anonymous

"Here is a test to find out whether your mission in life is complete. If you're alive, it isn't."
--Richard Bach

"Behind every successful man is a surprised woman."
--Maryon Pearson

"Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers"
--Homer Simpson

"You laugh because I'm different,
I laugh cause I just farted! "
--Anonymous

"The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the job."
--Slappy White

"One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money. "
--Edgar Watson Howe

Top 10 Funny quotes | Best Funny quotes | Funny quotes